lately, i have been longing for him more than i would like. i know that we are not for one another, but i know that i will always love him, under any circumstances. i have never felt so drawn to or intertwined with another person and i can’t comprehend the reason or the resistance – it’s as if he were a drug. of course my ego wants to know it’s not alone, and insecurities boiled to the surface because of it, but ultimately reciprocity is not important.

what i really long for is complete love for myself … which includes my body. really the focus is more on my body as that is really the only element i am not comfortable with in myself. i started going to pilates again and i am walking up to 4 miles per day. i haven’t been eating 100% raw as i would like, but i am feeling motivated and determined to accomplish the health goals and habits i have set out to achieve long-term.