i am an excess addict and it has become clear that this is the problem in my life. i eat too much, i sleep too much, i smoke too much, i indulge in my every whim and because of that, i’ve really gotten nowhere in life. sure, i’ve accomplished a few things here or there and my life is a bit more exciting than most peoples, but is it really? i feel like i have let so many opportunities go to waste because of my insecurities. insecurities that are the result of my excess. i want to heal myself and live a healthy life without indulging in everything to the maximum.

i feel such a need to get everything done NOW and it puts me into a state of paralysis or again, excess. i need to make a list and stick with it, i need to document it, and i need to be more diligent in completing the tasks i set out for myself.

the smoking has got to stop. i was so proud of myself and felt so good about quitting and then i indulged my cravings and it all went downhill. now i am back to wheezing and coughing and generally feeling unhealthy. this fucking laptop has got to go and i need a hot new desktop in it’s place.

this week has GOT to be about getting the store setup. i’m going to go read now.