… or something like that. I have been working long hours. Probably working too much, not finding the right balance. I totally stopped going to the gym, I totally stopped waking up early, I totally stopped taking my vitamins, eating properly, taking care of my skin, wearing my invisalign, doing anything other than being glued to the computer and smoking cigarettes basically. I definitely know it’s not healthy, but I get so obsessed with it I just can’t make myself stop… and then I do and I sit and stare at the same thing for possibly hours and think about my next course of action. I feel I stall in this stage too long though. I am so exhausted and drained from all the work I put in the previous hours, I just stare at the screen blankly and think.

I know that I need to find balance. I need to be able to sustain these new projects and enjoy it long-term. This is not a get rich quick overnight success, it’s going to take some time. If you had followed through years ago when you started these projects, you would be much further along. Instead, you left them on the backburner to ‘get rich quick’ and made a few bucks, but ultimately the revenue decreased because you didn’t follow through. Yes, apparently I am talking to myself now on the blog. I see these other sites that are not as great as my vision that are highly regarded and achieving success and recognition. I KNOW I can do it, and that is exactly what I intend to do.

I am really pleased with the results I’ve been having on the community site. I have been tinkering with adsense, trying to make sense of why it makes virtually no money. I made a few improvements, the major one being removing ads for members, and it has made a huge impact on click-throughs. I also moved the ad placement to a more prominent location so I think that definitely plays a role, but I could never show that ad to members where it is located, they would kill me. 7 years later, I had an epiphany about how to work that collage into a design that is functional for the forum. I don’t know exactly how to do it, and I know I would spend hours and hours tinkering to figure it out, so I put out a call to the universe to find someone that can code it for me and make it super slick. Now, if only I could gain control of the FTP and update the old cow.

As for the fashion site, I am fairly pleased with the results so far. I have not been posting as many daily updates as I should, but I am still getting into the swing of things. I know I am going to have to work hard on it day and night for the next several months and I need to spend more time creating content than I do on link building and promotion. Those things will come with the quality content and I need to remember that.

One of the threads that has been running through my life lately is the idea of sharing. Moreso, the idea of sharing without expecting or receiving anything in return. Obviously I do expect to receive financial payoff at some point in time, but in the short-term, I am focussed on providing valuable content to visitors. I want to make them happy and when they are happy, they will like me. It’s all this big psychological fucked up way the universe works, but basically, it is very true. When you make others look good, it makes you look good by default. When you help others freely, others help you freely.

I would be gaining so much right now had I been more willing to share my knowledge when I was a seller. If I were willing to publish that and share my ‘secrets’, it probably would not have impacted me as much as I thought it would and I would be reaping the rewards now. This isn’t about looking back and saying ‘Oh, woe is me’, it’s about learning that lesson from my past and not making the same mistake again in the future. I need to stick with my goals and my dreams, get past the tipping point, and see the success through. I know I can do it, it has just taken me some time to get to this point in my life.

I am pleased with the way things are progressing, if not a bit frightened. I have to put that fear aside because I know it will be okay and I know the things I am doing in my life are the right things. Building websites is my life – and I feel so strange typing out that sentence – but I really can’t imagine doing anything else. These are my property, my virtual real estate, and I need to keep them well manicured and do things to improve and increase the value of the entire neighborhood, not just my own hotels … I really wouldn’t trade this for anything else. I do enjoy it, so I need to relish in it.